Loving Yourself. Jen is winning the battle!
This is Jennifer's testimony. She is a disciple for loving yourself. Her Boudoir shoot was just one step on the path to inspiring others. She's already inspired me and I can't wait to shoot with her again! I am in awe of you girl.
"Hating your body and wanting another is a waste of who you are. When you hate your appearance, you hate yourself. It’s that toxic, sickening, self-loathing demon that creeps up on you with every page turned in a beauty or fashion magazine. It’s the intense scrolling through your Instagram news feed that warrants more comparisons than compliments. So much of what we do and see as humans is external first, internal later. What a horrible premise to start our lives on!
For the last few years, my soul felt uninspired. Up until recently, I had no motivation to figure out what my life’s mission was. My personality just never found the correct outlet, the correct platform to allow my spirit to truly shine.
A little over two months ago, I wrote my first blog post and publicly announced my battle with anorexia, eating disorders and body issues. It was the second most mentally, emotionally and spiritually freeing thing I had ever done. Simply by writing down my thoughts, I felt like my cage was open; I had found my purpose.
The only problem was, I still didn’t love myself. I think this is something I will work on, in some way or another, for the rest of my life, but I am happy to say that I stopped body shaming myself when I saw your images for the first time. When I sat down to review the images that were taken of me only a day prior, I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry. I looked good…I mean reeaalll good! The most profound part about it was that I believed it. I believed it. There is no thing or no one who can take away the feeling I had when I was able to click through those images.
I used to criticize every image of myself. Every. Image. After I left the studio and got in the car, I texted my boyfriend immediately, “Don’t ever let me talk bad about my body ever again.” I haven’t since. Sure, I might say I ate too much and curse the food baby in my belly that makes me have to unbutton my pants, but that’s about it. Can you remember the last time you criticized your body? If you can, then it’s been too recently. Stop it.
To love yourself, wholly and truly, is the most wondrous gift you can ever give yourself. When you love yourself, you become happy and transform the environment around you. While I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to apply and become the Confidence Ambassador for AdoraLee Photography, this is much more than just my application. This is a calling for all women, just like me, to be so confident in yourself that it oozes from your pores and makes the suitors come crawling. Ya know what I’m saying, ladies? And yes, I said suitors. Winky face.
I’m at the point in my life where I know that this opportunity will take me places and help me transform the lives of young women. Every one of us has a story to tell, and this is mine. I consider myself lucky to have realized at such a young age that I am absolutely magnificent with the genetics, DNA, flaws and perfections that I have right now. Some women will never come to this conclusion, but I have made it my personal mission to help women (and men) alter their thinking, change their mentality and transform their poison into medicine.
To me, a Confidence Ambassador truly needs no title. A Queen is still a Queen, even if you don’t call her by that name. A woman so confident in herself will be strong, courageous and fearless no matter where she is or who she is with. A confident woman will turn heads and break necks (I’m going for extreme confidence here, folks). A confident woman lets no negativity fall on her shoulders and let’s no one talk her down. Confident women, above all else, are equals to all other women. I will never say that I am better than someone else, ever. The first step in accepting myself just as I am, was to accept others as they were. What if someone out there wanted the body I hated? WOW, the day I sat and thought about this, it truly blew my mind. I had spent so many years hating my body, my canvas, my sacred temple and never stopped to think that some other woman out there might be wishing for my long hair, my curves, my tan skin, etc. I have so much to offer, and so do you! I hope as the 2015 Confidence Ambassador, I can help others come to this realization. Title or not, I'm in this for the long haul.
While I have a long way to go and much of my life will change, I know that there is one cause I will always dedicate my heart to and a conversation that I can always personally speak to. Damn…there’s something magical about a woman who knows her purpose. Doesn’t she just shine?"